Home>About Ta-Kuan> The Words of Mother> With Love
President Guo Ying-Lan of the CTK Foundation
Though live stopped against our desire,
the birthday candle was still in burning flame,
the violin was still in passionate sound,
and the earth was still revolving quietly.
Ta-Kuan! Ta-Kuan! You forever walk with us in love.
Sunrise, sunset. The shadow of light moved slowly and ten years’ time slipped away in the promotion of the “Global Love of Lives public benefit activity series.”
One day, naive Tian-Kuan asked curiously, “Mommy, you don’t miss brother Ta-Kuan any more?”
“Why you feel so?” I asked Tian-Kuan.
“Because you are taking care of me with your whole heart!” Tian-Kuan replied immediately without thinking.
After a while, Tian-Kuan continued, “But, sometimes, I saw you were crying secretly!”
As I looked back the days of ten years ago when I lost Ta-Kuan, I was having the most miserable and agonizing days in my life. I locked myself in the ivory tower of grief, crying my heart out calling for my beloved son. My soul was floating in the vast universe looking everywhere for my beloved son. As I submerged myself in infinite anguish, I saw a story by chance which was like a lamp of heart being lightened up in a room that had been dark for thousands of years. The story went like this:
There was a mother whose lovely seven-year old son died of an accident. She was so sad that she locked herself at home and would not care about the outside world. One day at night, she was so exhausted from crying and without knowing she came to a strange world. She saw a group of angels wearing white gowns on them and each angel was holding a burning candle. She passed by a beautiful temple slowly in the waving candle light. In this long array, she found that the candle light in the hand of one of the angels was extinguished. She moved forward and took a look. She thought, “Isn’t this my beloved child?” She asked him in a soft voice, “Why your candle light is not lit?”
“Mommy, every time when they lit the candle, the light was soon put out by your tears.” The angel looked at her with sad eyes.
She woke up from the dream in shock. From then on, she held back her sadness and turned the thought for her son every day and night into a strength to work hard, to get in touch with people, to serve the society and care for the minority groups. Her days were busy but fulfilling. She had not only walked out of the dim valley of life, but had also painted the poor life with bright colors. Occasionally, when she looked up the sky and stars, she seemed to see her beloved son in the array of angels and the candle light in his hand was shining brightly.
The Lord only gave Ta-Kuan a short ten years of life. If he made it for a few more years, what would he do? What were the things that he could not accomplish in time? I am also thinking what I am going to do with the rest of my life. After all, each body has its time limit. What’s the real meaning of existence? Life, as short as it is, is never short of all kinds of pains and sufferings. How to make pains meaningful? Sadness is to remind us that “we are actually still alive.” When we are thinking of our loved ones, should we also think about the rest of our lives and know how to spend them?
I held up and let go as such. I carried Ta-Kuan’s love with me to visit different hospitals across the country, and went to as far as Mainland China, Japan, Korea, Australia and India to visit cancer children and brought joy to them, who silently endured the torture of illness, and their families. I hope to bring them courage and faith so that they have stronger determination to face the devil of illness, to overcome their fear and walk out of sadness.
Every day in this world, people on the edge of suffering and struggling to survive were more than tens of thousands on thousands. Though they cannot be saved one by one, I wish Ta-Kuan’s love is like that of the young lad who guarded the beach and picked up each sea star that was washed ashore by wave and sent it back to the ocean one after another so each one of them could live again, from morning to dawn.
There are trials and hardships in the course of life.
The devil of illness smiles ambiguously to life.
The living Ta-Kuan opens up a window of sun. We meet and chat whole-heartedly outside the window of sun and in the poems. Why should we care about the life and death tug of war? Why should we care about the ticking countdown of the fate?
Because of love, Ta-Kuan is still here. He exists in this world in another form. He is flying between the heaven and earth. The sight of his back is blended with this world. His light shines on many souls in the dark. He walks with us in love, passing over the mountains, the prairie, the plain, and penetrating the ocean coast to fly over to the blue sky and shuttle through five thousand years, until forever.